Grief is a Maze

I’m not sure why Greg thought I needed to know how to get out of a maze. It was very like him to pass on a fool-proof method for something highly unlikely: put my right hand on the wall as soon as I enter and keep it there the whole time. No matter how many twists, turns, or dead-ends were hidden within, Greg guaranteed that a hand steadily kept on a maze’s wall would ensure I made it out eventually.

I’ve thought of his advice a lot over the past couple of years. Not because I’ve walked into many high-walled mazes, but because grief (and life after loss) is its own kind of maze.

I became disoriented the moment I entered grief. Everything was new. Every decision and emotion was uncharted territory. And like those who enter mazes in most stories, I was all alone. No one was experiencing my particular grief of my particular relationship with my particular husband. Others were in their own mazes of grief. Those who’s lost a husband could share their experiences and tips on how to survive it, but I’d have to find my own way.

My grief maze was dark, I didn’t know where I was going, and the only way out of the immense pain was to go through it.

It’s in this dim situation that Greg’s advice has proven true: not because there is a steady wall to keep my right hand on as I slowly make my way through, but because the God who made me and loves me is holding my hand. As long as my hand is in His, I can make my way through.

Psalm 63:8 says, “My soul clings to you, your right hand upholds me”. This is the story of my faith in these years of grief. Without knowing what He’s doing or why He’s allowed such pain - while wondering if I can survive it or how He will ever bring beauty from these ashes - I’ve clung to Him with trembling faith and trembling arms. And I’ve found that it is his right hand- His firm grip- that keeps me safe.

More than any trial beforehand, grief has taught me that the only way to survive life is to keep my hand in His. He’s far better than the wall Greg promised would guide me safely through any maze. After all, He made the maze I’m in. He knows the way out and what’s on the other side. He promised to never leave me or forsake me. He’s holding me tight. And He’s promised that after the trials and sorrows of this life, I will experience everlasting joy with Him.

If grief is a maze, then Jesus is a good Guide. He takes us by the hand, leads us through the dark, teaches us to live with grief, and promises that one day, grief will be no more.