This grief journey has surprised me. Each step of the way, I’ve looked ahead and thought “surely I’ll be done grieving by then” only to be surprised by a new wave or a new facet of grief.
Clarissa Moll talks in her book Beyond The Darkness about grief being a companion. That perspective has helped me a lot. Instead of trying to get rid of grief, I’m learning to walk with it.
The blender of grief has changed into waves of grief. The waves may space out over time, but grief will always mark our lives. We will never stop missing Greg even as our lives grow and change and we become more accustomed to his absence.
I’ve also learned that I can experience grief and joy at the same time. Today can be a good day- and I can miss Greg. Those two realities are not mutually exclusive.
I can laugh at a joke and feel sad that he’s not here to share it with. I can go on an adventure and long for him to be by my side. I can be proud of the young man Paul is growing into and grieve the fact that his daddy isn’t here to see him grow.
I can embrace grief as a companion and live fully in this new life that God is creating for me.
And so can you.
